Egyptian Chameleons are still alive and well.

I like condensed milk, therefore I like Exodus 1 as it takes about 200 years down to one chapter. If I do some extrapolation I reckon we could have made the whole bible just 30 chapters: much easier reading! Just kidding - I'm at home with a tome - but the Egyptians seem to prefer their Hebrews in small chunks. Not literally of course (although maybe one or two became salty snacks), but when Israel grows into a large nation the Egyptians feel seriously threatened. I guess they went to bed feeding a Maltese Poodle and woke up staring at a Rottweiler, so they decided it would be best to put the new pooch in a cage. The Israelites soon found themselves enslaved and heavily persecuted as their Egyptian masters tried to manage the threat they perceived them to be.

It's amazing how quickly people change: Friends one day, enemies the next........

Oxymoron: The end of Genesis

In the last bit of Genesis we see Jacob heading skywards, and the winding down of the story of these first bible characters. Joseph and his brothers - the 12 tribes - all die in the first chapter of Exodus. I skipped ahead, but pretend I didn't. By the way, Jacob clearly missed chapters 1 - 10 of "How to win friends and influence people" as he tells his sons what he expects they will become in a mix of blessings and curses worthy of the label "Tourettes". The first three kids he derides, the rest he either praises or suggests they will have a career in confectionery. Counselling anyone?

So what can I take home about Genesis?

1. Nobody's perfect. And maybe that's the idea. But try to make good decisions.
2. We work stuff out with God. When did we stop this and start putting both of us in a box?
3. Good things happen. Bad things happen. It's part of the journey.
4. Faith (a.k.a. hope) is important. Good people were faithful and faithful people counted.
5. Never trust a talking snake, and try not to pass out naked.

Now for Exodus..............

Recession? Pay up! Genesis 47.

After toying with his brothers and father for a period of time during which Joseph hides his identity and messes with their collective heads (for reasons I can't think of but will be sure to look up), the whole clan get to move to a nice fertile spot in Egypt and start doing very nicely, thank you. So nicely in fact, that when the paw-paw and fan make close acquaintance in the form of deepened famine in Egypt, they seem to to be the only ones left with food and resource. This allows Joseph to provide for the rest of the starving minions in return for a small price: Their money, livestock, land and services in the form of slavery to Pharaoh. Welcome home totalitarianism, everyone is now literally owned by the state.

Luckily, Joe is the benevolent sort and gives the underlings a means to pull themselves out of the hole they are in (with a small 20% tax to be paid on the results). Sound familiar? Governments around the world have bailed banks and companies out of financial ruin during this wide-spread recession. There is increasing control placed on fiscal activity too. I'm as far from being an economist or political guru as the Zimbabwe dollar is from buying a pancake, but I'm thinking two things here: Firstly, I hope the governments do not get too drunk on the power (see "t" word above), and secondly I hope the price we have to pay for the help is not too high......

Mind the Gap: Messages from Beyond in Genesis 40 - 42.

Joe Christian's saga at work continues when the big boss (a.k.a Pharaoh) gets a couple of cryptic emails about the markets that almost make sense, but not quite. A bit like anything that comes out of the mouth of SA rugby coach Peter de Villiers. So he calls in IT, finance, and his brokers to try and make sense of them, but no-one has a clue (although the broker managed to sell an increase in life cover). Then someone recalls that Joe in cleaning once worked out the origin of some nasty SPAM using a technique involving a mop, seven pages of A4 paper and a glass eye, so the boss decided to give him a go. Joe - being Joe, remember - cracks the code and tells the boss that the emails are from Warren Buffett and outline what is going to happen in the markets over the next few years. This allows all the right decisions to be made and the company is saved. Hurray!

I am quick to dismiss many of the dreams and 'God encounters' in bible stories as explanations from people with a theological world view. That is the unfortunate result of a skeptical nature, too much time in university and an aversion to the paranormal. But I have to admit that what is logical and real to me might not count at all to God. I read a great article on the power of dreams in the bible and the author (Walter Brueggemann) makes some excellent points on why we sometimes need to take heed of things that are "outside our controlled management of reality". Dreams are a way for God to intrude on our ordered, well explained world and although the psychology greats have good scientific models for why we dream, I can see equally good reasons for God to use them to talk to us. Anyone for a discussion on non-realist theology? Just kidding - read the article............

Does cream rise to the top? Genesis 39.

Let's re-word the beginning of Jo's trip to Egypt. Joseph = Joe Christian. Egypt = The Office. Pharaoh = The boss.

The boss is mighty pleased with Joe's work and realises that if he promotes this trustworthy and loyal character that he will soon be able to play golf three times a week. So he does, Joe rips his job to the power of woohoo, and the boss upgrades his 3 wood. But the receptionist who gets batted by Joe after an advance on his half-decent bod spitefully frames Joe for stealing paperclips with an scheme worthy of being an episode of Grey's Anatomy. The next thing you know Joe is demoted to the cleaning staff. Joe being Joe, the cleaning boss spots the same attributes the big boss did, and within no time Joe is managing all the cleaners whilst the cleaning boss gets back to his post-graduate studies in the ecophysiology of submerged angiosperms.

There are plenty of well told life lessons in these early passages. What struck me is Joseph's success by being ethical in a world that was not. We live in a world where right and wrong seem to have no bearing on a persons ability to rise to the top (think presidents, executives, murderers) and the measure of a person's character is less important than their position or achievements. Much like what Egypt represented symbolically. Will ethical and morally motivated people be successful in this world or have the rules changed?

Legalise prostitution? Genesis 38.

A quick thought. Judah (Joseph's brother) sleeps with who he thinks is a prostitute but is in fact his daughter-in-law. It's a long story, but Judah first calls for her punishment until she produces evidence that it was him that danced the happy dance with her, and he duly acknowledges his guilt.

There's a lot of debate in South Africa at moment about legalising prostitution. I think criminalising prostitution is a bit like this story in that we're quick to judge when we are really all guilty and we condemn the person outright. But does legalising it amount to condoning it? Is it not better to try and eliminate it by helping the women and men caught up in the vicious cycle it produces?

Like I said, just a thought.

Any dream will dooooo (warble): Genesis 37

I'm moving on from acknowledging the general depravity of these early bible characters. It's like watching a slasher movie - eventually the gore loses it's impact and you start looking for some plot. Not that you'll find any in the movie, but I'm sure there's plenty in this book!

So Jacob has a bunch of sons one of whom is Joseph, and makes the mistake of openly loving him more than the others. Joseph adds to the resultant jealousy and hatred by either arrogantly or innocently retelling the (figurative) dreams he has that he will rule over his brothers and parents. The story is well told (thanks Andrew Lloyd Webber!) and Joseph starts his significant life journey with a trip down a well followed by slavery. Who could ask for a better start?

I'm stealing from Matthew Henry's commentary here, but isn't that typical of life? We have dreams, hopes, visions and plans but always seem to end up in a hole or a slave to something - time, commitment to work, church (careful Russ), family, people etc. I am about to set off on a path to reach a personal goal and to be honest I am expecting to have to get through some tough times to start with. Let's see where Joseph's journey takes him, maybe there's some solutions for us.