Bells, Smells and lots of blood: Altars. Exodus 25 - 31.

Altar = From Latin word for 'high', an elevated place where people perform religious ceremonies. I checked it out as God seems to take it pretty seriously in the laws he hands out to Moses and the crew. Amongst all these verses of seemingly weird rituals (I was going to comment on each one but decided to punch myself in the head instead), what struck me the most was the holiness of the altar. In some cases the altar remains holy for 7 days and whoever touches it is instantly made holy too.

So what is holy, and where is our altar? It got me thinking about what we desire most (what we "hold high"), as that's probably our altar. If you get to touch that altar, what do you become?

The commandements they forgot to tell you about. Exodus 19 - 24.

Considered a moral code for Christianity, an ideological base for much of the Jewish law and mirrored in verses from the Qur'an, these 10 commandments have received a lot of attention over the years. At least 5 movies have been made about them, which is just one less than movies made about ancient Mayan paw-paw recipes, so even Hollywood thinks they're important.

But what about the other commandments? Besides the laws governing various ceremonies, Exodus lists a whole whack of other commandments that Rabbinical Jews consider as important as the first 10. Ever read them? I did for the first time yesterday, and picked out some whoppers:

• If someone curses their father or mother, the penalty is death (21 v17). Oops....
• If you hit someone with a rock, and the injured person manages to hobble around for a while, you get to avoid the death penalty (21 v18-19). So hit softly with rocks, OK?
• One ox = five cattle, and one lamb = four sheep. Except when they're worth two (22 v1-5). No wonder I failed at maths.
• If you lend money to poor people, do not gouge them with interest (22 v25). Same goes for collateral - give it back before you're paid (22 v26-27). Money lenders must have missed this verse
• Help your enemies out. If you find their stuff - take it back to them (23 v4-5). So if George had found those WMDs, I guess he would have given them back. Lucky he didn't find anything then.
• Don't boil a kid in it's mother's milk (23 v19). I know, it's a goat, but sheez!

I get that these can't be taken out of historical and cultural context, so I know that I am being facetious and that they are intended to build a fabric for justice and righteousness. But I think I prefer the way Jesus put things: Make sure you get things in order and don't mess up your priorities, and then love others like you love yourself (Matthew 22, v37-40). You can build a life on that.

Middle management, volcanos and getting stoned. Exodus 18 - 20.

I'm finding these chapters quite entertaining: There's practical advice, drama, comedy, and plenty to make you think. So here it is:

Practical advice: Moses father-in-law sees Moses dealing with peoples disputes and questions all day long (teaching them God's laws), and tells him he'll burn out doing it that way. He helps Moses set up competent leadership structures to handle the daily stuff, whilst Moses only handles the serious issues. Marcus Buckingham has it right - successful companies have good middle management and he has the research to prove it.

Drama: It was a dark and stormy night! No, it was a smokey and burning mountain. With darkness. Oh and lightening and thunder. And don't touch it, or you'll die. And anyone who touches the person who touches the mountain, they get stoned (not in a good way). That's the context in which Moses ascends Mount Sinai. Fear and trembling all-round.

Comedy: The way the author of Exodus keeps reminding us that Jethro is Moses' father-in-law. Do we have a short-term memory problem or something? "Moses, I am you faaaaaasha!......in-law". Also an irreligious thought when God tells Moses what will happen with those who touch the ones who touched the mountain. I pictured John Cleese saying "Stone them! That right - kill them! [dramatic music] No, wait...ummm....shoot them with arrows! Yes that's better - shoot them to death!". Like I said, irreligious, but funny.

Contemplative: Those ten commandments. Simple, but complex. Easy, but difficult. Strange, yet familiar. Why those 10? (and the other 603?). Need to think..............

Why do we always complain? Exodus 16,17.

What a lot of K'vetshing! Man those Israelites complained more than, well, people who complain a lot. They were just miraculously saved from some Egyptian head-knocking via chariot, and again they ask why they couldn't have just stayed back in the land of lamb-stew (no really, lamb stew was the deal-breaker). So God sends them manna and they chow down happily. Next thing you know: "Hey Mo, got anything to drink? Why did you drag us out here you sadist?". So God helps Moses again and they get water from a rock. I was reminded of the many people who ask "if God exists, why do babies die/does cancer exist/is life unfair/do good people suffer/is my porridge cold," etc. I reckon if babies stopped dying and our porridge was always warm, we'd just find another reason not to believe in or trust God. It's a tough one, but it seems we come back to making a choice in these matters (one I hope I am never tested on).


One other interesting fact: At a battle against Amalek, they noticed that they were winning when Moses' hands were up, and losing when they were down. Up, winning; Down, losing; Up, winning; Down, losing. And that's how the Mexican wave was invented.